Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
