just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
