if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
