i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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