oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
