Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
