She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
