i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
