i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I could fuck to npr.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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