Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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