VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
