Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
