I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
