Just cropdusted the office
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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