I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
