i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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