Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
