Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
