I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
