Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
