omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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