we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
