So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
