uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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