weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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