When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
