Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
