im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
