it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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