i would punch a child for taco bell
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
