Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
