I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
nutella sex= disaster
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
