Apparently you make a good broom.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
