He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
