I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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