I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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