you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
