how can u be prego again
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
