She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
