i barfeds in our rink
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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