Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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