Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
