I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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