dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
