Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
