the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
