I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm both gender and math confused
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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