it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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