how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
