I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
