i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
