There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
