Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
