First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
