the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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